You can't motorboat a personality
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
