Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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