i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
