did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
