I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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