the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
