Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
