If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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