The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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