Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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