Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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