she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My breasts were aching with rage.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
