Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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