i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
