Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm really busy with my period
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