The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
