Where is the hickey?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
