I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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