farters have to be the big spoon...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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