I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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