I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
