Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
