This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
