she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
