I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.