Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize