i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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