i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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