This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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