her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
