I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize