my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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