I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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