maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
