Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
