just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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