are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
