Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
