He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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