The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
