playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
