that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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