I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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