She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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