it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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