My hair reeks of homosexuality.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
