You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
FUCK WHALES
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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