Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
