A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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