I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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