its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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