when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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