If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
