I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
