What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
