Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
