i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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