i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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