WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it glows. i had to have it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
