two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize