You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He felt like a one man threesome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
