You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
