her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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