also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
