I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
