9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
