Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How's work?
Spinning.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
