I can text with my tongue
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
