she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
