what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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