dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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